Day 2

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

9:45 am
Berry/Spinach smoothie - blackberry, cherry, strawberry, spinach, almond milk
Cinnamon Apple bites - dice up an apple, put it in a mason jar, sprinkle some cinnamon inside, shake it up, and eat. really simple but pretty delicious and filling.
Feeling - average. excited about this new journey (as I'm choosing to label it)
Why - time to eat.

1:30 pm
banana
sweet potato
1/2 chicken breast
spinach
feeling - hungry. good. (as in positive)
Why - I didn't want to eat before. my nutritionist had recommended that I eat every 3 hours or so, so I feel guilty whenever I choose not to eat in the recommended time.

6:00 pm
tomato
balsamic asparagus - ok lemme just stop right here and talk about this. I've NEVER liked balsamic anything. like I (used to) tolerate it on caprese things. but never to cook with it or put it on anything else. but the recipe in my "eat this much" just called to put the asparagus in a pan and drizzle balsamic over and let it cook on low for like 10 minutes. seriously SO good. so savory and salty together. I'm drooling as i type about it.
feeling - average. took a nap earlier, so feeling good energy-wise
Why - hungry. will be busy for a couple hours for Easter rehearsal

11:00 pm
sausage cooked up with seasoning
potato - just boiled
green beans, mushrooms sautéed together with olive oil and seasoning
feeling - like i need alone time, except i already spent the majority of the day alone.
why - practice was 7:00-10:15. so hungry.

Accomplishment of the day: Declined my first pizza invitation. during practice, the worship leader brought back pizza and I hung out for a few minutes, but quickly left.
My body is adjusting to increased fiber. only had 1 urgent BM after smoothie. Otherwise, still multiple but "normal" BMs.

Day 1

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Weight - 247.6

I didn’t know it when the day began, but I would come to find out that today would be my last day of work.

Instead of diving head first, I was hanging out at the shallow end. My excuse: well… I haven’t read the book yet… and I told the nutritionist i would start on Wednesday…

So I aim to write down in this blog exactly what I write in the physical journal, plus expand a bit if i need to.

9:00 am - 2 frozen egg white burritos. Feeling tired. Why - hungry, time to eat, frozen=easy.

I had to get on the road by 9:30, so this or del taco drive thru was my only option. A couple days earlier, I had made a bunch of these frozen burritos to make mornings easier. I mean, the thought was there, but microwaving a frozen egg inside a frozen tortilla - mushy yuck and the inside is still cold. Putting it in the oven made the tortilla part good, but the egg inside was… yep, still cold.

11:40 am - del taco beef, bean, cheese burrito. Feeling - even more tired. Why - temptation.

I kid you not, I felt AWFUL that whole day. And remember, this was BEFORE I found out I wouldn’t be working there anymore, when I thought I still had another week left.

2:15 pm - meatballs, rice, bbq sauce. Feel - finally keeping eyes open, still low energy. Why - time to eat? It was around this time I told my “boss” that I felt awful and I wasn’t charging her for that day. Only the couple hours i worked.

5:00 pm - shrimp/avocado salad, honey mustard, onion, avocado oil. Feeling - dragging. More depression type of low energy. Why - time to eat. Eating with Adam’s family. I was just waiting at this point to go home.

Left there and stopped at a grocery store before coming home. I had listened to the virgin diet book on my way there and back, so my head was filled with what I can and can’t eat and why.

I returned to my apartment in a slight huff. I totally bawled in my car because I received a phone call from my client’s mom saying today was my last day. Not that i was fired, they were away for spring break the next week. I put my new food away and took the time to remove any food I couldn’t have from my parts of the fridge and freezer and pantry. It was emotional. Whatever my roommates didn’t want, I set aside to give back to my parents.

9:45 pm - dried mango slices. Feel - grumbly. Why - hungry, munchies, emotional eating.

And so was the first day of my new diet.

Oh boy...

Back to blogging about my everyday habits. Not one of my favorite things in the world to do, but the more i write about it, the more "real" it is.

Promise #1: I will be real. I will hold nothing back. (Both in terms of this blogging thing and in terms of diving head first into my new life)

So around November 2015, I began my journey towards weight loss surgery; more specifically: the Gastric Sleeve. I definitely qualify for the surgery. Usually you have to be a 35 BMI for basic qualifications, I'm around 40.

Here, before I get any further, my stats:

5'3"

256 lbs as of February 13, 2016

Yes, I know I'm posting all this late. Whatever.

So in order for insurance to pay for my surgery, i have to successfully complete:

• 6 months on a diet supervised by a nutritionist.
• Attend classes pertaining to diet, exercise, and what to expect from the surgery
• Attend support groups for those having the surgery
• Visit a therapist and have them clear me. that i'm emotionally stable and in a good place mentally to do this.

When I first went to the doctor, it was shortly after attending a mandatory information meeting, and he basically looked me over and reviewed all the hoops i have to jump through and sent me on my way. He said that the hospital would call me to schedule the next step (nutritionist).

As I'm waiting for this phone call to come along, Christmas rolls through and I'm talking with a friend at church, we both do sound mixing, and after denying a cookie, he tells me about this amazing diet that he and his wife did. Besides the fact that he lost 40 pounds, his digestion problems were gone. I congratulated him and stored this info in the back of my head.

Along comes February, when my life got flipped turned upside down. You see, in November and December, my family (my parents and my nana) were selling our home of 18 years.

Nana, really, had only lived with us since September 2015, because her health said she couldn't live alone anymore. She is still a VERY capable 74 year old woman, but when she gets sick, she needs constant care. This happening after grandma, who had lived with us nearly all my life, had to be put in a nursing home.

We lost the home as a result of the scams and "accounting mishaps" from Countrywide. In order to avoid our house being sold out from under us in an auction or short sale, we filed for bankruptcy.

While that in selling an in escrow, 2 of my friends, who are both in my small group at church and I've known one for 8 years and the other for 11, asked if I wanted to move out with them.

Then, more recently, as in 2 weeks ago, I'm out of a job and struggling to find a new one.

Plus I'm finding out there's a list of foods i can't have. And I'm not talking about "can't" as in "the diet says I can't". No, I'm talking about "my body physically can't tolerate it and i get sick if i have it".

So, it's not just that my life was flipped. I mean, starting with grandma going to the nursing home, my life has been halted, flipped, rearranged, and as far as I know, it has been put through a cleansing fire.

February 13 was when I moved into the apartment with Jamie and Natalie. Now, I can really call myself an independent adult. So I started to get my life together: scheduling everything and writing everything down so i don't forget. And I finally called back that doctor, because the hospital NEVER CALLED ME BACK!! Surprise? Not really.

“Oh my goodness! I don’t know how that happened! Here why don’t you call to find out what happened,” the secretary said, “I know I sent your papers over. So it *must* be a problem on their end.”

“No, we never received anything,” the second secretary replied, “Can you call them back and ask them to send them again?”

“No!” I really don’t like phone calls. So having a stranger tell me over the phone to make another phone call, a call which she should do as her job… “Can you call that doctor’s office and request her to re-fax my paperwork?”

A day later, she called me back with an appt ready with my nutritionist.

Ready and raring to go, I called that friend who lost the 40 pounds with his wife to ask what the program was called. It’s called The Virgin Diet. I’m gonna stop you right there, it has nothing to do with sexuality or some raw diet or anything. Her last name is VIrgin… But I had been noticing that something that my family refers to as “The Macias Curse” was “extra curse-y” I know I’ve been stressed for the past year. But I can’t control my environment or the situations around me. They say, “reduce stress”. HOW?!?!?! You can’t just stop living. Not everyone can afford a vacation whenever they feel like it. But… I can control what goes into my body. And if certain foods are affecting how my body handles stress… I mean it all added up to me. I knew it wasn’t just going to be portion control. It’s about what is going in, too. So I downloaded the audiobook, since at the time I had a 1 hour commute each way, but wasn’t really able to start listening to it until Tuesday the 22nd.

March 21. I go in to see my nutritionist. Now I weight about 250! Wow! Already 6 pounds gone in 5 weeks from doing nothing! Ok, well, I was lifting boxes and furniture and barely had time to eat. And I wasn’t eating out of boredom. But I knew as soon as things settled with unpacking, I would gain it back.

My friend, Veronica, was visiting when I went to the nutritionist, so I invited her along as my “support team”. I’m not quite lying. This is my only close friend who has been where I’m at now and who knows what it’s like to struggle to lose weight. 2 years ago, I think she lost 40 pounds? I’m not quite sure. But of all people, my parents included, this was the one person I would’ve wanted at this meeting.

The woman took the foods I already eat and helped direct me toward what I can and can’t eat from her perspective. In a meal: ½ must be vegetables, ¼ must be protein, and ¼ must be starchy/carby, with only 1 tbsp of fat. That includes the fats i cook with. So i gotta make sure to use the non-stick pan or else I’m using fats just to keep it from sticking and burning!

I informed her of the program I would be adding to hers. She gave me the a-ok and now I was on my own… I check in with her once a month, and I write a daily journal that includes what time I ate, what I ate, how I feel (emotionally and physically) and why I ate (both whys on what, and when)

I started listening to the audiobook the next day and a basic sum up… eliminate 7 things:

• Gluten
• Dairy
• Eggs
• Soy
• Peanuts
• Sugars and artificial sweeteners
• Corn

Plus eliminate

• MSG
• Other super processed foods

I’ll get more into detail with all this in future posts. If I come to find out that I’m breaking some copyright by talking about the Virgin Diet or advice from my doctors, just let me know and I’ll take it down.

Good and bad.

Good news about my diet: 

having restrictions means that I now have to think outside the box. I actually have more variety in my foods because I'm forcing myself to do fruits and vegetables instead of "hmmm. There's leftover spaghetti. Yes please." It's a pleasant and rewarding challenge to find fun things that I enjoy that won't make me go overboard in calories, fat, (complex) carbs, etc. ergo, I am officially enjoying my diet. 

Bad news: 

I had rice last night for the first time in a couple weeks. Just a bite. It tasted... Wrong. And this morning I had a tortilla with my eggs. Just because. And because I hope to do more walking today to "justify" it. Normally, a tortilla is one of my favorite things on the planet and one of my favorite forms of complex carbs. This morning, it was altogether bland and unexciting and thoughoughly a waste of my caloric intake. I'm disappointed in my taste buds. 

So I'm happy my body and tongue are enjoying the new lifestyle, but I'm a little sad that it doesn't even miss the old stuff. 

Below is a picture of my delicious lunch yesterday: carrot juice, pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries. Nothing processed. All done with my juicer or magic bullet. 

Ok get this

I'm really proud of my mom. She's made the decision to do her best to change her diet to the same as mine and therefore when my dad eats at home, he is on the same diet too. I'm more resourceful at finding recipes that fit the diet. So I get the ideas for dinner, and mom and I take turns cooking the food. 

So when Mom was telling Dad that she wanted to make it a family diet, not just for weight loss, but also for dad's diabetes and cholesterol, wanna know his reaction?

"Well, you know I weigh less than both you and Bekah."

Mom was ready to either slap him or cry. And I would've too. I don't really have much to say beyond that. I mean, I call it a funny story, but it's sad and hurtful too. It's statements and responses like that which is why I've struggled to lose weight for 15 years. 

Best diet food ever!!!!

I call it a "Lettuce Burrito"

Ground turkey, enchilada sauce, jalapeño, cheese, tomato, beans and sour cream. Mush all together and slop into lettuce. YUMMMMMM

Workout day 1!!!

Wake up at 5:00 am. Yay! 

People, this is extreme sarcasm. I am not a morning person. The only thing that encouraged me to wake up was the fact I would see the sunrise. 

So here it is: 7:42 am. I have completed my workout for the morning. And I am thrilled to eat breakfast. Of course, what's open at this time except McDonald's? Denny's. So I'm eating everything breakfast-y on the menu that I am allowed: egg whites, cheese, bacon, spinach, tomato, and yogurt. Bonus about being awake now, I can go home and do school work. I have no excuse not to. 

As far as the workout goes. I did well. My body has more endurance and it's such an amazing feeling to NOT be on the verge of tears everytime I'm on the treadmill or bike or something. This first month is focusing on weight loss, then add toning and muscle after that. My favorite part of the workout was when I could be outside. My lungs recovered faster (they didn't go into asthma attack mode, but they were pushing), my heart rate slowed, and body temperature dropped. I may despise my alarm clock, but I might grow to love my morning exercise. 

Restarting the weight loss counter: 

Started: 244

Today: 244

Lost: 0

Goal: 150

To go: 94

Also. Sometimes I just love the support of strangers. Police officer greeted me as I walked into Denny's and my server is "envious of this breakfast." He was doing everything he could to help me put together a healthy and delicious meal.