*grumblegrumblegrumble*

I haven't felt well for about a week. I don't feel like I have a cold or anything, not physically ill. I'm feeling emotional. That brings down my energy level and my thoughts and my actions with it.

I really want to get back to exercising. I feeling cooped again. My knee is feeling better, but it's still not 100%. I was texting my trainer today, telling him that i've been able to do more physical things, strength wise, with my knee, but i still wouldn't be able to do a free squat or fast walk. My knee sometimes feels like its hyper extending (bending backwards) and I don't know what exercise I need to do to strengthen whatever body part would make it not feel like that. so because of this backwards feeling, I still can't run.

Yesterday, I worked a wedding with my dad. He does sound and DJ stuff. He also does photography for weddings, but yesterday was sound, which meant heavier equipment. Yay... The lifting was fine. The things i didn't feel ok on were 1) it rained pretty hard and made the ground slippery and 2) after the ceremony, I had to "run" to the reception (on the other side of the building) and start the music so there was no silence between. K. So. My running right now looks like how preppy High School girls run: only the balls of their feet touching the ground, using toes and spring boards, and only bending the knees about 30*. I may have looked like an idiot, but my leg felt more confident this way that a typical run: heel -> toe, 90* bend. I've twisted my ankle running normally. I wasn't gonna risk anything else popping out of place, especially when I'm on a job.

Also, I'm sure some of you read "it rained pretty hard" and freaked out. And then others probably read that and thought "well its good luck if it rains on your wedding day". Just to clarify: the bride was PRAYING for rain. she loves rain. There was no rain during the ceremony, and all the pictures were done before the rain. and none of my dad's equipment was hurt, but all the guests had to move inside and people were frantically trying to figure out where to put things and how to dry off and... and... BUT! the bride was happy. :)

Not only was there the wedding, but from Wednesday afternoon though Saturday morning, I was helping a friend. She had a knee replacement repair surgery so I lived at her house for a few days to take care of her and her dog. I ended up vacuuming and moving furniture. I'm VERY surprised I don't hurt from that. But maybe it was my brain saying "she's in more pain right now than you are, so shut it and do this chore". This lady, I love her dearly, but I don't think she realizes how anti-social she is. She doesn't have real chairs for guests to sit in and the dirt is literally caked into the carpet. I kept finding spiders and was super grossed out. It was 100* outside but I wasted to keep my jeans and socks on for protection from bugs. Among other things. I ended up volunteering to go back and help her clean and organize her house. So anyways, because of the lack of furniture, I brought over an air mattress and slept on that. Then the next day, her friend brought over a recliner from a thrift store. AWESOME! How can you beat a leather recliner that probably originally cost $500, now for the low low price of $45!! So my friend's friend (yes, I'm being anonymous on purpose) and I threw out her old vacuum, put together the new SHARK vacuum she bought but never used and OMG, the dirt that came up was so gross. and we definitely sucked up about 30 dead and live bugs. Then when that was over, we had to get the recliner out of her car. (Mind you, she called at 7:00, when I was leaving to pick up dinner, and just said "I'm on my way". no warning beforehand. But we HAD to clean the carpet before bringing in the new chair) So now it's 10:00, I'm tired, she's tired, my friend who had the surgery has energy but she's looped up on norco and so we kept having to convince her to sit down, and we still have to get that stupid chair out of the car. I looked at the recliner, I looked at her doorway, and I picked up my phone and called about 3 of my guy friends and left messages "hey I know it's 10:00, but if you're awake and willing, will you come here and help me get this chair into this house?" no one called within 5 minutes (the friend of my friend was getting impatient) and so we hauled it ourself. on the knee that I still am having issues with. and honestly, I just kept thinking, "if this dislocates again, guess who's paying for my ER visit?" But we got it in. The chair is fine. It's comfortable. and my knee didn't dislocate again. I texted my guys and told them to ignore my message.

But I'm just feeling down right now. I want to go to Disneyland. I want to check off more things on my "Things I Miss" list. I want to swim.

I got my hair cut the other day and one of the small joys of having super short hair is coming out of the pool and shaking my hair like a dog. lol.

I'll try not to get all mopey, but I think i get this way after I attend a wedding. not because I'm single, but because I feel like I'm not doing anything with my life...
thats why i want to be exercising again. I feel productive.